Slayers

Beautiful and brilliant sorcerer girls just can't have nice things, huh? All I wanted to do was swipe a little bit of bandit treasure. Now suddenly I'm being chased around by icky trolls, nasty demons, mean mummies, and brooding golem bad boys. And for what? A tiny little artifact that can bring about the end of the world? Hah! I'll show them there's a reason you don't cross Lina Inverse...

At last, Atlas City! Time to put our feet up and enjoy that urban life. You know, some good food, a bar brawl or two, beating up assassins, intervening in politics, solving a kidnapping... Wait, what?! No! This sounds like work! Great, and now we’ve got demons stalking us and spike-shooting wolves pouring in through the windows! Guess I’ll have to clean up this mess before I get my R&R...

All me and Gourry wanted was a peaceful little road trip, but we can’t take one step without wannabe heroes showing up to “vanquish” us! You’d think there was a bounty on our heads or— Wait, there IS?! Ah, crap. Better head to Sairaag to get this whole mess sorted out! Sure hope it’s just a big misunderstanding and not some complex plot by an old enemy to lure us into a— Wait, WHO issued the bounty? Oh, boy...

No good deed goes unpunished, huh? Me and Gourry help one little orphan find her new home in Saillune City, and the next thing I know, we’re breaking and entering for the local crown prince! I mean, he is getting the short end of the stick in this whole royal succession dispute and there are assassins trying to murder him and all, but... Wait, why are these interdimensional monsters coming after ME?! I thought this was YOUR family drama!

Sure gotta love bandits, huh? One minute you’re just whaling on ’em for some quick cash and stress relief, and the next thing you know, your magic’s been sealed! With Gourry and Amelia at my side, it oughta be easy enough to track down the lady responsible for all this and set things straight, right? Too bad our destination’s a town full of Dark Lord cultists and werebeasts. Oh, and we all manage to get separated... Maybe this self-styled “mysterious priest” guy can help me out. They never have ulterior motives, right? Right?!

Sheesh, when did adventuring get so complicated? All I’m after is the teensiest bit of ultimate power from the legendary Claire Bible in the Kingdom of Dils... but now I’ve got secrets I’m keeping from Xellos AND secrets I’m keeping from the rest of the group. And that’s not even touching on the fact that Dils appears to be gearing up for war. Yes, Amelia, I know it looks shifty, and I’ll admit that a demon COULD be behind it... But I’ve seriously got enough on my plate! Can’t we just mind our own business for once?!

Boy, we sure left off on a cliffhanger last time, didn’t we? Good thing Chaos Dragon Gaav is dead and... Wait, YOU’RE the one who killed him? Dang, talk about a twist. This is going to mean— Hey, stop it! What are you doing with Gourry?! Ah, jeez. Looks like I’m headed to the ghost town of Sairaag to get the big lug back. I’ve still got Gaav’s goons on my tail, but they might actually be the least of my worries once I get there. Can the magnificent Lina Inverse stave off the end of the world yet again?! Fingers crossed!

Welp, seeing as how we lost the Sword of Light, it’s time to find Gourry a new toy. These stories about a bona fide “sword in a stone” near Bezeld sure stunk like a scam at first, but learning that a group of assassins has their eye on it too kinda made me a believer! Now we’re in a race for the loot with a few obstacles along the way—namely a little (possibly) rich girl who won’t stop blowing us off, a mercenary couple who won’t stop stalking us, and hordes of demons who won’t stop burning towns to the ground! This mystic sword had better be worth all the trouble!

The quest for a magic sword continues! I got Gourry a crappy one to tide him over, but— Did someone just try to steal our CRAPPY magic sword? As it turns out, a local big shot is snatching ’em up left and right... meaning it’s time for famous shakedown artist Lina Inverse to pay him a visit! Except when we track the guy (and his stash) down in Solaria, we find out there are bigger things afoot. Time for run-ins with the men in black (again!), a helpful masked stranger, more demons (for cryin’ out loud!), our not-so-favorite not-in-love couple—and that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Hoo boy.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: You’re an adventurer, minding your own business, when suddenly the local muckety-mucks decide to rope you into performing a public service. That’s basically what happened to me and Gourry, but not five minutes after we agree to help put down an insurrection in Crimson Town, a sorcerer named Aria approaches us and reveals she’s got a personal connection to the whole thing. Sheesh! Guess we’ll have to tackle this a bit more delicately... Say, is there a delicate way to evade angry fish-demons while riding down a waterfall in a wind bubble? How about dealing with regenerating tree-people? Asking for a friend here!

I don’t know what I expected at this point. You’d think the sorcerers’ council would be singing my praises after everything I’ve done for them, but no! All I get is the hairy eyeball and a third-rate job tracking down spawning demidemons in the north. Our journey quickly leads us to a murder, a mysterious “white giant,” and our favorite mercenary couple... who’ve learned about a demonic infiltrator high in the ranks of Gyria. Wait—isn’t that the city demons burned down a couple books back (with maybe a tiny bit of my help)? Just how much demon-related trouble can one place get up to?!

Swarms of demons showing up for seemingly no reason? Check. Mounting military aggression between states? Check. Omens of ill tidings to come? You betcha! According to my old pal Milgazia, things are getting hairy on a world-ending scale, which means it’s time to... head back to Gyria?! C’mon, we just finished there! I was pretty sure we didn’t leave any loose ends, but I guess there’s no arguing with hordes of demidemons and a castle gate that’s shut tight around the clock... You know what? Fine! But there’d better be a king-sized payoff to all this!

Whew! After settling all that demonic drama in Gyria, Gourry and I stop by Selentia City for a little sightseeing. There’s just one question on my mind when we get there... What are swordsmen and assassins doing duking it out in the streets of the so-called City of Temples?! Turns out a recent alleged arson-slash-murder has the local church bigwigs at each other’s throats. Men of the cloth, am I right? This is NOT the chill vacation I had in mind, but hey, at least it’s nice, normal human politics without a demon Priest or General in sight... Wait, wait, wait! Okay, now I have a second question—what are Luke and Mileena doing here?!

Hey, here’s a question. When demons are transforming into bigger, badder demons, otherwise temperate towns are getting unseasonal snow, and you’re catching sight of your own doppelgänger... that’s a bad sign, right? And when it all seems to be pointing you toward Sairaag—basically the world’s nexus of bad magical mojo—that’s a REALLY bad sign, isn’t it? But I know from experience what happens when you try to say no to a plot like this, so... let’s just get it over with, shall we?

So, a virtuoso sorcerer and a master swordsman walk into a bar... Yeah, you’ve heard this one before. The locals immediately hit ’em up for a job because they look sooo powerful and the town’s just that dang desperate for help. In the case of Atessa, city of blacksmiths, there’s apparently some funny business going down in the surrounding woods. Mines are being attacked, caravans raided—the whole shebang. Yup, there’s definitely something foul afoot in this forest. Frankly, I don’t care to find out what, but if the price is right...

Everyone wants to visit home once in a while, right? Even me, the brave and beautiful sorcerer Lina Inverse! Thus my trusty (if dimwitted) traveling companion and I set off on a meandering journey toward my hometown... Welp, I don’t have to tell you it all goes horribly wrong, do I? Pretty soon, we’re forced to make the best of ending up somewhere that is decidedly NOT our intended destination. It’d be one thing if we merely needed to get ourselves back on track, but—no surprise—everyone in this new locale wants a piece of little ol’ me. So, yeah, we’re kinda sorta on the run now...